Wednesday, 30 October 2013

What to wear when... you’re hungover

Alcohol. Oh alcohol. You are a terrible, terribly amazing, comforting cruel intoxicating substance.
And sometimes it gets the better of us, this is a fact. A well known fact.
And unfortunately after these nights of joy come days of hell. Again, a fact.
(Unless you neck a pint of Berroca and water before going to sleep, works a treat).

Anyway these hell-days, as they shall now be referred as, often require actually leaving your home and braving the real world. And, even worse, you need to attempt to look respectable.
This is wear the hangover dressing comes in. 

Unlike regular dressing, it isn’t about looking good. Neither is it about the latest trends or your favourite shoes.

No, it is about making the least amount of effort possible to clothe yourself whilst nursing that nausea and headache and comforting your damaged insides.
So boys and girls, don’t fool yourselves into thinking this is gunna be easy. Here are the 5 top items to help your through this tough time:

1.    The Non-Skinny Jean.
Say no to tight things. They require effort, pulling etc. not worth it.
I recommend the secret sweatpants or tracksuit bottoms at the bottom of your wardrobe, everyone should have them. Comfortable and useful for emergency dashes to go hug the loo.
In an ideal world I’d be wearing some baggy leather trousers from J Brand:

2.    The Slip On Shoe
This is very weather dependent but the most obvious choices would be winter = Uggs/converse, summer = flip flops. Don’t question it, go with it.
Let’s go with some comfy suede Jimmy Choos:

3.    The Sleeveless Top
sleeves are also unnecessarily hard, this is a known fact. Go sleeveless and allow that breeze to waft away that alcoholic aroma around you.
How about this calf hair Helmut Lang number:

4.    The Warmth
So you decided to get trashed in December? Well now you must pay for that. Sleeves aren’t optional anymore therefore find your biggest, comfiest jumper or hoodie and wear with pride.
A Team Slimane hoodie will do nicely methinks:

5.    The Random Accessory
This is isn’t so much a tip as a warning. I’ve known many a (very) hungover person to try and counter their feelings of hangover by carrying a random accessory. These include, but are not restricted to – fur trapper hat, mug (with or without tea), perfume/cologne bottle, bunny ears, more berroca, dressing gown, the list goes on. If it feels right, embrace it. Hangovers can make you weird.
I recommend the following embellished mask, amazingly pom pomed hat, and some alligator gloves. Because why not.

The rest is up to you. Remember, the best accessory is always water and Panadol.